So I saw a commercial for this product the other day, called the "Comfort Wipe," and after being reassured that it's not a spoof from SNL or the opening segment of Bill Maher's show, I examined the contraption further. The Comfort Wipe is a toilet paper wielding wand that allows users the convenience of an extra 18 inches of reach when trying to wipe one's ass. Now I may be a skinny dude, but I've never even remotely experienced not being able to wipe because my rectum is too far away, so I'm going to go out on a limb and say this product is aimed at morbidly obese people.
Check out the tv spot:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=crfGXmxJ1vM
I thought this was a joke, but nope. I can't believe that our population is so obese they actually need help reaching around all the flab to reach their asshole. What a country we live in.
I guess my remaining question is: For those who have a comfort wand, what happens when you have to take a number two away from home? Is wiping like riding a bike in that you never really forget, or is it different for those who need wiping assistance? All I can think about is a fat ass person humiliated at the mall because they don't have the comfort wipe, and that super-sized Mickey-Ds meal ain't sitting right. In this situation, the comfort-wipe-dependent person has to reluctantly decide whether to cart their fat ass back to the parking lot, get in their Chevy Tahoe and go home to the comfort wipe sanctuary that is their own bathroom, or, they can use the (comfort wipe-less) can somewhere in the mall and risk smelling like shit (more than they already do) for the rest of the day.
All I can say is that I'm glad I don't have to make such a decision. Whew...
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LOL! That offered such a good laugh - thank you! My theory is that if they need the "comfort wipe" then they are the people that don't leave their house at all, minus the occasional trip to Wal-Mart.
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